Saudade

Saudade (English: /ˌsaʊˈdɑːdə/,[1] European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ], is a emotional state of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one loves.

The process of creating theatre is always a bit bitter sweet. When we create theatre there is always an end inherent in the realization of the piece. In my artistic practice projects are realized over a number of years. In that time, the project is dreamt, refined, edited, and dreamt again in cycles that are the heart of the creative process. I wonder how many micro-decisions go into the making of a piece of art?

For me, I live in the making of a project all the time. It is as if someone moved into my home. A seductive guest who I cannot get enough of.  As time passes, we grow used to each other, we live in and out of each other’s pockets. We eat and sleep together and become entwined growing together towards the common goal of seeing the work grow into itself. The energy of the project becomes as much a part of me as I am a part of it.

And then inevitably, like the height of summer, just as the project reaches its full form, as the lush fruit blushes in the sun… the seeds of its departure take form. As it fully becomes, its end is also written indelibly, its passage engraved in the very genetics of its being.

The feeling is hard to describe. But I think saudade might say it. Beautiful, inevitable, sweet, and transient. That is how theatre feels to me in the wake of making something beautiful.